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Meth has taken over his life

My son will be turning 29 next Sunday. I don't expect him to make it to 30. 

Meth, has taken over his life and destroyed all of us. I try to remember when he was a boy now, when he was inoccent. Its hard, because the last 15 or more years with him have been hell. He tears the house apart and beats on everyone, including his ealderly grandparents who do everything for him. We run him off. He stays away sometimes for months. Even then you can't be at peace because you wait for the day someone tells you he is dead or he killed someone, or the day he shows back up. 

He is nasty, hungry, usually sick. We clean him up, feed him. He promises he is off the stuff. He usually manages to get a car from us. New clothes, money. He is nice for a week or two, then it all starts again. The secretiveness. The anger. He starts about how we nearly let him starve to death or freeze to death. How we let him go homeless. on and on it goes. You just want him gone. But he really is gone. Because he isn't my son anymore. 

He is a meth monster. Lee's body is still there but he has been gone so long. I would hate him, but I am so tired. I would miss him but I am so tired. I would beat him but I am so tired. I would look for him but I am so tired. I would feed him, but he probably isn't hungry for food right now. I been so busy cleaning up the last mess he left. I am so tired. I will wait for the call that he is dead. Then maybe I can rest. I Love my Son. Where ever he went.
--Gloria

Labels: CrystalClear, CrystalClear™, Meth, meth addiction treatment, meth lies, Meth users, methamphetamine