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Monday, March 9, 2009

addicted to Meth

There was a time when I knew my little girl. I knew she liked unicorns and fairies, cookies and milk, and birthdays with cake. But now...now I don't know her at all. 

She got hooked on Meth. I always thought it wouldn't happen to my daughter. That she was smart and nothing bad would happen to her. It turns out that I didn't know anything at all.


We thought our daughter was on her way to great things. While we had a rough time with her when she was 15-16yrs old, things had smoothed out and she had close to a 4.0 GPA in High School. She had a semester of college completed before graduating high school and had a scholarship.

Our daughter recently turned 20. She moved out to live with her boyfriend about a year and half ago. About 9 months ago her boyfriend got fired from his job. Soon after that he lost a lot of weight and we thought he was just bummed out about his job. About a month later, our daughter lost a bunch of weight (she's tiny anyway). Both of them began getting acne on their face. She quit school saying no classes were being offered that she needed to complete her degree.

We noticed subtle changes in her, like being on the internet/ebay a lot, talking about them buying a house together that cost over $100,000 when neither of them had a job, jumping from topic-to-topic and speaking fast. Then she began coming in late for work. Within a month and a half, she was late over 20 times; not just a few minutes late, but sometimes hours late. She was working for me at the time and on at least three occasions her mother had to go to her apartment to wake her up. The morning I went she was soaked in sweat. I couldn't get her to go to the doctor. I ended up firing her about 5 months ago...now neither she nor her boyfriend has a job. She claimed they were fixing things for people or buying broken items and fixing them to sell for a profit.

About 3-4 months ago, her hair started falling out. She claimed she burned her head and pulled it out herself. We knew we had to do something but were unsure how to proceed. With encouragement and support from friends, we intervened and took her to inpatient psychiatric treatment. To do this we had to fill out affidavits so she could be committed. Fortunately she signed herself in voluntarily. At first she denied using Meth, then she admitted to having used it in the past. When confronted that it was still in her system she said she could control her use and could quit anytime. She tested positive for Meth and had lost about 25 pounds. She had the "Meth look" (sunken in eyes, weight loss, hair loss, gaunt/tired).

She is now in residential drug rehab. She tells us she loves us and knows we did this because we love her and care, but she is currently refusing to let us visit her. Much to our disappointment, she is allowing her boyfriend to visit. She admitted to us that they are/were both using. We had to get an exparte' against him and our junior-high aged son is terrified; checking locks and always looking over his shoulder. Our hope is that with continued therapy she will gain some insight and make better decisions, but I know it's a long road to recovery. I started going to a support group. We are seeking guardianship over her until she gets through all of the treatment. We know that the chance of relapse is high, we aren't fooling ourselves, but we feel we need to do everything in our power to help her. Beyond that it's up to her.

It breaks my heart to see the young lady that I love so much, that was a happy, healthy little girl, grow up to abuse and become addicted to Meth. I despise Meth.

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